Grand automotive x-country adventure.

Objective - To obtain a respectable conference table. This table must be suitable for internal and external customers. The budget is not set, but funding is of concern.

*Side note* - A free table has been offered up!  **Side note** - The table is in Portland OR....

The decision was made that the best solution which balances value with pure adventure will be to attach a trailer to the truck and retrieve said free table.  ohhh boy... here we go!  BTW here is the table (before we left)

Day 1 - (Objective) Pack and depart about noon on Wednesday May 4th. 

About 5:15 PM - after forgetting oil and also before unscheduled stop for a forgotten wallet.  We discover the posted lane width at the bank drive through teller is correct and the visual measurement we took over shoulder was not. We discussed options...  More speed may work, but may also further delay..  I made the "beep" "beep" while Gatis backed up.  MANY children in minivans clapped in glee.

5:28 PM - Stopped for traffic..  Not our idea..  I guess someone else (way up there) is also not in a hurry.  ** IMPORTANT quote** "I may have lead you astray".  Sun is low as are tempers and we push West.  C'mon you psycho!  "You will not be happy till ya side swipe someone".  Average speed 15 mph

6:00 PM - We are in Blane, MN.  I jumped out for a physical check of an idea in my head...  I can NOT crawl 15 mph.  Other than a small cut on my knee, it was an honest attempt. .Driving again...  Down Battlecat we're going 60!!!

6:10 PM - Side note there is an adult bookstore on HW 10.

6:11 PM - Gatis has had enough with bad drivers (all around us) I take over.  For many hours I lock it in at 81 and keep it between the lines. Coffee, candy, & determination are on our side

Day 2

2:00 AM - The rain has started.  I have been driving in the dark all the way across North Dakota.  I think I'm in MT, but not sure.   Have not seen another car for an hour at a time.   The navigator is snoring like a black bear with a party whistle stuck deep in it's gullet. From time to time I tap the break just to watch both hands grab the dash like a cat on a hunk of drifting fuzz.....   Zzzzzz the beast softly relaxes into his seat...  I smile and start the count down to my next round of amusement.

3:30 AM - Locked in at 82 and all is well with the world.  Oops the engine just died and I have almost no lights..  Softly shifting to "N" (for nothing more)  I steer almost blindly, yet silently down the freeway in a cold rain.  Finally stopping about 1/2 mile from the exit to Miles City, MT.

4:00 AM - The entire team is very awake now.  The rain is wet and so am I.  Passing trucks attempt to roll us down the embankment with their wake as they pass.  I tap the break just as they approach in attempt to alert the drivers "Oh Shit" reflex.  I smile privately.  We call on the laptop, I look up auto repair for Miles City, MT. as my battery also checks out.  We call each of them with no luck.  We try 411 and ask the nice computer lady for 24hr towing.  We are given 2 numbers..  1st no answer.. 2nd a mean person asks if we are in an 18 wheeler..  I walk around counting just in case..  We're 6, but we say 8 just in case..  wrong answer... click!    

4:06 AM - The navi-Gator asks for another opinion.  I turn the key....  It starts back up.  No words are spoken.  We begin to move again.  Buddha quietly asks me to take the exit "Just in case"  We are in the middle of no where now (worse than before) The road T's and we take a left..    The lights again dim and the bus shuts down...  I look around..  We are in front of a Ford dealer...  No Shit  Buddha!  I look closer.. the odometer reads 160,000.00  

4:07 AM - We are sleeping in the truck.  It's cold!   Shop opens at 8 am.  The hotel next door "lost" our reservations! (see picture)

8:00 AM - Joe is ready to help - New alternator...  Pork rinds..  etc...  The repair pretty much took all day!  We started shopping for a replacement.

"ohhh boy!  The things I did in one of these!!!  Well you know"

12:30 PM MT Day 2 - We inspect the repairs..  find new things broken...  Give up the good fight and drive off (the cost of the table just went up, price unchanged)

3:15 PM MT - With quick stop in Billings, MT for a breakfast tasting like the cardboard liner inside a new pair of shoes, we are off again.... A quick debate confirms that we will NOT need to QC the food at another Perkins this trip. Burp.  whew!  That tasted better 36 miles from it's source..

6:00 PM - Butte, MT (beauty or the Butt?) Neat town! Get a call from buddy in Billings.  We were hoping to have lunch with.. sorry Jesse! Catch ya on the return.  Lots of mountain passes, fog, rain, & new found religion uttered audibly and only when breaking..... Hmmm?

Nite - Everything seems to be 100 miles apart here.  Gas requirements seem to be 250 miles apart.  We see a gas station just into Idaho with a posted sign of $3.84.  We forget the pattern... 100 miles of nothing..  100 miles of nothing..  Now things are interesting.  The usual fight with sleep no longer is in my mind.  The current thought is this....  Hmmm when we lost electric power and stalled at 80 MPH on a perfectly FLAT and STRAIGHT road it was a bit tricky without power steering...  In this mountain pass...  when we run out of fuel....  Will the fact that the lights will still be on, be better or worse?

Soon after - We turn into city center.. Coeur D'Alene, ID - Low fuel light illuminating the front seat. We find a restaurant.  Everyone is very drunk.. we are very much not.  This fact serves to further illuminate our age, I get carded for a Coke.. The Boss does not... hmmmm Now we both want to get back onto the road.  Not soon enough we are back on track.

3:00AM PST - It is written as fact....  On this day I have tested and proven that exactly at 35 hrs of driving almost non-stop with NO sleep, I will hallucinate!  "Groovy!"  "Crap! A bird......"   Ummm where?  "never mind"

3:01 AM PST - A driver change is required.  I commit to the task of navigation, but close the door and enter a comma. unconsciously I totally sound convincing...  "Ohh yeah I'll help ya when we get into the city"

5:00AM PST Day 3 (Friday) - We arrive in Portland.  I am shaken to wake to help.  I point to the hotel, we turn, I sleep..  We check in and SLEEP!  Finally  1800 miles!  When we awake it's time to get the table...........

10:00 AM - Portland is as always alive!  The morning is unusually warm and humid. As is custom in this region, I walk barefoot to the coffee then outside.  I know this exercise as I work in Portland often. My usual reaction (from the feet) is cool and damp not warm and humid.  There is energy in the air...  Everywhere I look are flowers.  Spring has hit Portland!  I chat with the folks at the Hotel (they kind of know me as I stay there about 8 weeks a year) More Coffee...  I wake up Gatis and we check out.

11:30 AM Arrive at my Portland office.  We are soon to meet our table for the first time... I'm nervous!  My hands are sweating...  I'm caffeinated.  Gatis looks tired...  Hmmm I think it's a pre-lifting stuff defense mechanism...  We make it up the stairs to a conference room and there it is in all it's glory.. well most of it.  There are 8 chairs...  (see 1st picture) Not sure where the other 4 are, but it's been 1800 miles already and I don't want to ask.

12:00 AM - Don my friend, co-worker, & unknowing journey coordinator begins to dis-mantle the table.  He keeps repeating..  "this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen"  I thought he knew me better... this is nothing!  Pretty sure he's calling everyone I know telling them.

Nice Pants!

2:00 PM - We end up with a 2nd table (to be pictured later)  This one is solid Oak with nice chairs.  Everything is packed tightly and wrapped in plastic just in case it rains in Portland (It does)  Don takes us to one of my favorite Greek restaurants... (with entertainment) I totally forgot about rush hour.

4:30 PM - Stuck in stopped traffic on the 205 headed north.  We are passed (if ya call it that) by a pretty girl in a convertable T-Bird yapping on her cell phone with the top down.  I turn off my windshield wipers...  It works..  The rain picks up... We laugh..  Seems to help the traffic problem.

5:15 PM - East at last!  We are on the 84 in the Columbia river gorge. If you EVER find yourself here turn off on the historic route!  Stop at  Crown Point and ALL of the waterfalls! See pictures!  This took a bit of time, but was and is worth it!

9:00 PM - We are way behind our schedule, but at this point we don't care.  Our first book on tape was SO boring and poorly written that it enhanced the crossing of North Dakota via car. The 2nd book Hunting Season by Nevada Barr is great.  We stop a few times and cross the mountains again in very bad weather.  Having more trouble staying awake this night.  Navigator is out cold so a swap is not an option.  Many 1 hr naps at rest stops feel better than a long one in a wet ditch.. Well I didn't actually try the longer one..

10 AM - Kind of a long nap at rest stop. near Billings, MT.  We are both weary from the lack of good coffee & candy mixed with the lack of ability to sleep whenever we want like usual.

11 AM - We are done!  We grab a hotel in Billings.  Not long and we are asleep.

6 PM -  My old friends from Billings meet us for dinner and drinks.  I'm so tired that I can't keep a conversation moving.  I look across the table and realize that Gatis also has not made a noise for a 1/2 hour.  Hmm not normal.. I discover he is sound asleep with his eyes open..  Fearing an ugly guacamole accident I snap him out of it.  We shake hands and retreat. 

2:00 AM  - Finally a decent amount of sleep!  We load the truck (Eeeore) and turn the key... click!  Click..  Once again I get blamed for leaving something on and killing our 2 day old battery.  I try for a 2nd time to blame the innocent power inverter that we have been using to power the laptop with moving map GPS, phone chargers, Plasma TV, Donkey Kong machine, etc....  Nice guy from WY tries to jump us (start us!  This is not a big city...  Where is the city in MT?)  We return to the room..  Hmmm sleep.. fix truck...  I find a second choice in the desk drawer.. Gideon's or Yellow pages.  I call a 24hr auto service.. they recommend their competition.

2:20 AM - My cell rings.  It's the guy with the fix-it truck.  He's trying to start our black truck.  I tell him it's Maroon with a trailer.. he say's oops.. better come show me.  He fires up his generator and hooks up the semi starter to our truck.  I hop in... blinded by the overly bright dome light.. I see the battery gage well over 18v... click.. click..  The patron saint of internal combustion drops to his back and disappears under the truck...  He re-appears as quickly and proclaims... broken wire on your starter.. how far are you going?  I vocalize the obvious...  Not far with a broken wire on the starter.  He smiles and announces that he will be the conduit to start the vehicle.  He slipped under grabs the wire, holds it on the lug with a spark, & yells... tttt ttt ttrryy itttttttt nnnnoowww quickly.  Vroom vroom!  We are NOT worthy!

2:50 AM - The genius is paid, thanked, & tipped.  We are now on our way.  This will be the non-stop leg of the trip... We did not fix the broken wire.  It will be full or NO stop!  I'm SO not interested in the shock that sparky got to get paid!

7:10 AM - Low Fuel light is laughing it's ass off at us!  It is down to an intense fight between yin & yang..  Truck & driver...  The exit with services & the other one.  The trip is interesting.  The book on tape is getting way too good to run out of gas without a starter to get going after walking all day with a gas can.  

7:12 AM - The correct exit was chosen.  Mt. Dew and 1/2 cooked cinnamon rolls erase all doubts of a safe return.

5:30 PM - We arrive home to a crowd of spectators. If they only knew what we endured to return safely with the free tables!